Just chatting to a friend today about how when things happen that get you down or you do already suffer from depression, we tend to perceive things differently.
For instance, when your significant other forgets to say ' I love you' at an expected time ; you immediately feel hurt, rejected and start thinking that there's someone else .... and so the mind goes on...
This is skewed perception . It is totally in our mind , it is what we perceive to be true at that time.
When we are suffering from depression, it is amazing how the truths that we perceive can be so totally unrealistic and 'out there'. I realize that if you're currently in this situation, you won't be able to see it.
An example could be: You think a friend is ignoring you, you feel hurt and rejected. You start to wonder what you did wrong and become a little obsessed in thinking about it. Sound familiar??
Just for a minute, think about what the other person is going through and whether they are ignoring you because they don't like you or because they are seriously distracted and are having a crisis of their own? There's a good chance that if they're your friend, you need to stop thinking in terms of how the person is relating to you and start thinking how you can relate to them. Stop doubting your magnificence and start reaching out to help a friend in need.
Also, just a little note before I end today. All of us are going through various things in life. You are not the only one, so feel free to share about your life with others. How can a friend possibly support you during your time of need , if you won't let her know how you are feeling.
I hope this helps for this week. Take time to think of others and share some of yourself with your dear friends.
Take care
Deb
08 December 2010
01 December 2010
Forgive yourself
We are our harshest critics. If we drop a glass, we get so cross with ourselves, yet if one of our kids drops it, we are able(most of us) to forgive them and move on. We can forgive others so much easier than ourselves. Why is that? A long time ago when you were just a child, you just accepted it if you made a mistake, but then, adults in your life may have pointed your mistakes out in a not so loving way. You began to think about how flawed you were and constantly aimed to please the adults, accepting criticism as part of life. During this criticism was when you learned not to forgive yourself.
Well, now it's time to change! In order to forgive ourselves, we need to learn to love ourselves just the way we are. This doesn't mean that we'll never change parts of ourselves , it just means that we accept who we are and love ourselves. This is one of the hardest concepts to learn. I found the only way to help myself was to state " I love and accept you just the way you are" , while looking at myself in the mirror. What this does is reinforces to you that you actually like yourself and this is the beginning of being gentle with yourself. When you have done something that you're cross with yourself for doing, you need to go to the mirror and state: I love you anyway and I forgive you. I know this may sound strange, but this is what is needed to inform your mind that you are moving on. Louise Hay is fantastic to read or listen to on many of these concepts, if you're open to affirmations.
So, this week, I want you to not criticize yourself in ANY WAY.
May your week be peaceful and fulfilling.
Take care
Deb
Well, now it's time to change! In order to forgive ourselves, we need to learn to love ourselves just the way we are. This doesn't mean that we'll never change parts of ourselves , it just means that we accept who we are and love ourselves. This is one of the hardest concepts to learn. I found the only way to help myself was to state " I love and accept you just the way you are" , while looking at myself in the mirror. What this does is reinforces to you that you actually like yourself and this is the beginning of being gentle with yourself. When you have done something that you're cross with yourself for doing, you need to go to the mirror and state: I love you anyway and I forgive you. I know this may sound strange, but this is what is needed to inform your mind that you are moving on. Louise Hay is fantastic to read or listen to on many of these concepts, if you're open to affirmations.
So, this week, I want you to not criticize yourself in ANY WAY.
May your week be peaceful and fulfilling.
Take care
Deb
17 November 2010
Over- Analyzing and depression.
Well, I hope you managed to get moving last week to keep depressive ways at bay! This week, we'll chat about thinking too much. You know, when you analyse everything, pick it apart, critisize yourself and simply won't let it rest? Well, it's time to stop that.
The reason we over - analyse , according to me, is that we are too concerned about what others think of us. We critisize what we've said, how it was said and why we said it. Instead, what we need to do is realize that if we've made a mistake, we need to just man up and say sorry, and learn to LET GO. I think this is probably one of the hardest things to do. You may be asking yourself, but what does this have to do with depression? Well, when you're going through depression, you don't always have the best perceptions about yourself and others. At this time, we can pick apart something that was said to us or that we think was said about us. This is so damaging.
Realize this, it's all in your head! I mean that in a nice way. You need to learn that if someone wants to say something derogatory about you, that's their problem, not yours. LET IT GO.
If you've said something bad to someone and wish you'd never said it, say sorry, and then LET IT GO.
How do you let it go?
It's all about forgiveness of yourself. I'll chat about that next time, but in the meantime, try to be kind to yourself, realize that we all analyse things incorrectly and we need to learn to just let things be. We are human after all.
I hope this week, you can live for the moment, move with the flow and LET IT GO .....
Take care, till next time.
Deb
The reason we over - analyse , according to me, is that we are too concerned about what others think of us. We critisize what we've said, how it was said and why we said it. Instead, what we need to do is realize that if we've made a mistake, we need to just man up and say sorry, and learn to LET GO. I think this is probably one of the hardest things to do. You may be asking yourself, but what does this have to do with depression? Well, when you're going through depression, you don't always have the best perceptions about yourself and others. At this time, we can pick apart something that was said to us or that we think was said about us. This is so damaging.
Realize this, it's all in your head! I mean that in a nice way. You need to learn that if someone wants to say something derogatory about you, that's their problem, not yours. LET IT GO.
If you've said something bad to someone and wish you'd never said it, say sorry, and then LET IT GO.
How do you let it go?
It's all about forgiveness of yourself. I'll chat about that next time, but in the meantime, try to be kind to yourself, realize that we all analyse things incorrectly and we need to learn to just let things be. We are human after all.
I hope this week, you can live for the moment, move with the flow and LET IT GO .....
Take care, till next time.
Deb
10 November 2010
How to keep depression at bay when you're not feeling well......
There are times when you're not feeling well due to illness or pain. This can also serve to deepen your depression. The reason for this is that , when we're not feeling well or in pain, we are primarily so focused on ourselves and how we feel , that we become really self absorbed. When we are so self absorbed, that is when the depression deepens, as we only look at ourselves and into ourselves. So, in light of this, when you're of ill health and want to prevent your depression from taking hold, you will need to focus on a few things:
1. Stop and think about what you're grateful for. Be thankful that you can talk, walk,sing, hear, see, etc etc. Really focus on how wonderful it is to have these abilities. Immediately, you are expressing gratitude and thus taking yourself to a more positive place.
2. Turn your energies(what little you have!) to a hobby that you enjoy doing - gardening, crafting, painting, sewing, cooking, reading....... You may think you feel too sick to do it, but, try to do something towards it - even if it is planning what you'll do when you're better.
3. Focus on someone else. You may have a mother who loves a visit, or a gran. You may have a little person in your life who loves you and wants to spend time with you - focus on them for a bit and let yourself just love. By seeing the other person , really, you are taking away the intraspective part of yourself for a while and thus aiding in your wellness.
We all go through times when we feel ill or in pain. It's very consuming. You, however, have the power to decide what you will do with how you're feeling. Will you just succumb to feeling low and unwell, or will you decide to rest your body but entertain your mind to fight off the depression?
I know what I'd choose. How about you?
Take care over the week and choose wisely.
Deb
1. Stop and think about what you're grateful for. Be thankful that you can talk, walk,sing, hear, see, etc etc. Really focus on how wonderful it is to have these abilities. Immediately, you are expressing gratitude and thus taking yourself to a more positive place.
2. Turn your energies(what little you have!) to a hobby that you enjoy doing - gardening, crafting, painting, sewing, cooking, reading....... You may think you feel too sick to do it, but, try to do something towards it - even if it is planning what you'll do when you're better.
3. Focus on someone else. You may have a mother who loves a visit, or a gran. You may have a little person in your life who loves you and wants to spend time with you - focus on them for a bit and let yourself just love. By seeing the other person , really, you are taking away the intraspective part of yourself for a while and thus aiding in your wellness.
We all go through times when we feel ill or in pain. It's very consuming. You, however, have the power to decide what you will do with how you're feeling. Will you just succumb to feeling low and unwell, or will you decide to rest your body but entertain your mind to fight off the depression?
I know what I'd choose. How about you?
Take care over the week and choose wisely.
Deb
03 November 2010
Get Moving !- combat Depression by exercising
I know, the last thing you feel like doing is exercising! Do you know, that it is one of the few things that will definitely improve your state of mind naturally? It is a proven fact that when we exercise, our brain releases endorphins which give us an increased state of happiness. The main problem that we experience, is when we feel depressed, we lack the ambition to do anything- least of all exercise!
Here's a few tips that may help you to put your best feet forward and get moving:
1. Set yourself an achievable activity goal, like, to go for a walk twice in the week. If you own a diary and use it, make sure you diarize when you're going to go for a walk, and stick to it.
2. Do incidental walking. For example, park your car far away in the car park, so you have to walk a distance when you visit the shops. Another example, when faced with the lift or the stairs, take the stairs. At first, you'll feel tired or puffed, but the more often you do it, the better you'll get at it.
3. Invest in a pedometer. This is great if you want to clock up the steps walked and try to improve on it daily. The average person has the ability to take around 4000-5000 steps per day, so see how close you come and try to keep it up. Pretty soon, you'll be looking for excuses to get moving so you can make sure you've done all your steps!! It's a great motivator.
I hope your week is filled with exercise, and remember, start small and be disciplined about sticking to your routine. You'll be really glad once you notice a change in your mental attitude- it happens quite by accident!!
Have a great week.
Deb
Here's a few tips that may help you to put your best feet forward and get moving:
1. Set yourself an achievable activity goal, like, to go for a walk twice in the week. If you own a diary and use it, make sure you diarize when you're going to go for a walk, and stick to it.
2. Do incidental walking. For example, park your car far away in the car park, so you have to walk a distance when you visit the shops. Another example, when faced with the lift or the stairs, take the stairs. At first, you'll feel tired or puffed, but the more often you do it, the better you'll get at it.
3. Invest in a pedometer. This is great if you want to clock up the steps walked and try to improve on it daily. The average person has the ability to take around 4000-5000 steps per day, so see how close you come and try to keep it up. Pretty soon, you'll be looking for excuses to get moving so you can make sure you've done all your steps!! It's a great motivator.
I hope your week is filled with exercise, and remember, start small and be disciplined about sticking to your routine. You'll be really glad once you notice a change in your mental attitude- it happens quite by accident!!
Have a great week.
Deb
27 October 2010
Prioritizing for optimim mental health.
Life gets really busy with work, keeping a home, looking after children and pets. Not to mention, maintaining good relations with people at work, family and friends. Life can be quite a juggle of emotions if we let it. Very often, those of us who are trying to keep our heads above the depression line, find dealing with people in our lives very draining and could potentially sink below the line. It is at times like this that prioritizing is really important.
1. First what you need to realize, is that NO-ONE is more important that YOU.... .. NO-ONE. There is only one of you and if you don't take care of that one beautiful person, others around you will ultimately suffer.
2. Once you've got that in your head, it could help you to prioritize. It is not selfish to schedule alone time, or doing something that you love. That is all part of taking care of yourself and keeping yourself in a great state of mind. If you are happy, then the people around you are happy, if you are angry or resentful, then the people around you pick up on that and may be that way to.
3. Schedule at least one activity each week just for you. If you can do more, that is ultimately better, but, if you're a little time poor, one will do. You don't have to include anyone else in the activity, as long as you do it. It's very important to realize in your head, that you deserve this, do not feel guilty or allow anyone else to make you feel that way. If someone else is making you feel guilty, that is their problem, not yours!!! I think that's a whole nother blog post !
So, this week, take some time to look at your week and fit in something/s that you would like to do that would make you feel relaxed and happy. Schedule them in your diary/calendar of events so that you don't double book yourself. You're much more likely to remove your indulgence for work than not!! Think of the indulgence as being essential for your mental health and follow through without guilt.
Take care this week and enjoy.
Deb
1. First what you need to realize, is that NO-ONE is more important that YOU.... .. NO-ONE. There is only one of you and if you don't take care of that one beautiful person, others around you will ultimately suffer.
2. Once you've got that in your head, it could help you to prioritize. It is not selfish to schedule alone time, or doing something that you love. That is all part of taking care of yourself and keeping yourself in a great state of mind. If you are happy, then the people around you are happy, if you are angry or resentful, then the people around you pick up on that and may be that way to.
3. Schedule at least one activity each week just for you. If you can do more, that is ultimately better, but, if you're a little time poor, one will do. You don't have to include anyone else in the activity, as long as you do it. It's very important to realize in your head, that you deserve this, do not feel guilty or allow anyone else to make you feel that way. If someone else is making you feel guilty, that is their problem, not yours!!! I think that's a whole nother blog post !
So, this week, take some time to look at your week and fit in something/s that you would like to do that would make you feel relaxed and happy. Schedule them in your diary/calendar of events so that you don't double book yourself. You're much more likely to remove your indulgence for work than not!! Think of the indulgence as being essential for your mental health and follow through without guilt.
Take care this week and enjoy.
Deb
20 October 2010
Depression and parenthood- how to cope...
When you're in the throws of depression, the last thing you feel like doing is responding to one of your children. It doesn't sound nice to say it, but it's true. Often this is one of the hardest hurdles because we don't want to admit to anyone, that we really don't want to see the child for a while and need time alone! It could be misinterpreted as not caring. That is not it at all. We care for our children, but when you're not coping, you don't think rationally at all. Here's some tips to help you when you next feel this way:
1. Explain to your child that you're feeling a little sad right now, and need to spend some time alone in your room. Set a timer, if your child is a little young, for maybe 5 minutes, because that will feel long to them. Each time you do it, set it for a little longer so they get used to giving you some alone time.
2. If your child is young and still having sleeps, DO NOT use every sleep time to tidy or do washing etc. Set aside some time for yourself. Do something you really enjoy so you can recharge. You are VERY important- if you're not well, the whole family suffers.
3. If your children are older, an explanation about depression can also work to educate and allow them to understand you. Do not go into too much detail, but explain about how chemicals in your brain are unbalanced and you need to do certain things to try to restore the balance. They will become more understanding if you let them in.
This is just a snippet of information on putting some strategies in place within your family.
I hope it helps you this week.
Take care
Deb 9N8VGVZQ3U5D
1. Explain to your child that you're feeling a little sad right now, and need to spend some time alone in your room. Set a timer, if your child is a little young, for maybe 5 minutes, because that will feel long to them. Each time you do it, set it for a little longer so they get used to giving you some alone time.
2. If your child is young and still having sleeps, DO NOT use every sleep time to tidy or do washing etc. Set aside some time for yourself. Do something you really enjoy so you can recharge. You are VERY important- if you're not well, the whole family suffers.
3. If your children are older, an explanation about depression can also work to educate and allow them to understand you. Do not go into too much detail, but explain about how chemicals in your brain are unbalanced and you need to do certain things to try to restore the balance. They will become more understanding if you let them in.
This is just a snippet of information on putting some strategies in place within your family.
I hope it helps you this week.
Take care
Deb 9N8VGVZQ3U5D
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