I have learned that life appears to lack purpose when we are not clear on what it is that we want. Often when we are depressed and spiralling out of control, we can't even think about what to cook for dinner, let alone, think about what it is that we want out of our life. There is a reason we talk about things 'spiralling' out of control, because it is circular and continuous .You'll need to step out sideways to help yourself.
How do you get clear on what you want?
Make a list of everything that you'd like to do with your life. This list mustn't be influenced by logic or financial issues. Just go ahead and list it all. Now, do an elimination. Compare number 1 on your list with number 2- choose just one between those two, then compare the one you chose with number 3 and choose only 1 of those etc etc. At the end, you will have really limited your list and made note of only those that are the most important. I know it feels like you're really eliminating some that are hard to choose between, but give it a go, you can always come back to it.
At the end, you may have about 8 or so points that you had really found hard to eliminate. Do it over with those extras until you're left with your top 5 .
Those top 5 are obviously deeply important to you and are things that you really want to achieve someday . Here are some examples:
-Live in a large 5 bedroomed house by the sea
-writing successful mystery novels
-spending lots of quality time with my family
-going on a family holiday at least once a year
-helping millions of people
etc
To help you could begin your sentence with- I"m living my ideal life when I am......
In life, the reason we don't succeed is because we are not clear and focused on what it is that we want. Take time out now, to decide what it is you want to focus on , even if you're not sure how you're going to achieve it yet, just write them up in various places around your home and read them several times in the day. It is like programming your mind for clarity. Be open to what is taking you away from these things and what is pulling you closer towards them.
Next time, I"ll help you further by getting you to make yardsticks by which to measure when it is that you have succeeded in achieving that which you desire. In other words, how to know when you're "there".
Have a great time thinking of your ideal life.
chat soon
Deb
24 June 2011
15 June 2011
Setting Goals and achieving them Part 2..
Well, I hope you have had a great week compiling your list of goals and deciding what to focus on. When you are in a depressed state, one of the ways to help yourself to overcome overwhelming emotions is to focus on a goal. Even if that goal is simple , like, making sure you leave your house at least once a day. Goals don't have to be grand , they can just be something that you personally would like to achieve. I have more points for you , as I said in my previous post to assist you in creating a focus. Points 1 to 5 are in my previous post.
6. Be Specific in what direction you want to go in, and how you propose to get closer to your goal. What do you hope to achieve by reaching your goal? You need to be aware of what is driving you to achieve and maintain your focus, as this will help you with maintaining your motivation.
7. Committment - Failure is not an option.When you don't allow yourself an out, you have no choice but to move forward and proceed with your plans.
8. Progress reports to stay on track. On a road to reach a destination, you have signs to show you the way. Signs are like a feed back to you to say you're on the right road. Check regularly to see that what you are doing is taking you closer to your goal, not further away.
9. Goals are your jigsaw lid ! Have you ever tried to put a jigsaw together without the picture on the lid? It's really difficult and for some of us, just impossible ! The lid is like your goals and the jigsaw is your life. Don't try to create the jigsaw of your life without the goals to guide you. You will spend a lot of frustrating times, wondering why your life isn't working.
10. A goal is an idea of what you'd like in your life. It all begins as a dream and becomes a goal, once you realize you can obtain it.
I realize that depending on your level of depression, this post may not suit you, but I urge you to try some goal setting. Keep it simple and go for achieving one goal at a time. If you make too many goals at once, you can become over whelmed and achieve none .
I wish you good times this week. Use the days ahead wisely and with purpose.
Take care til next time.
Deb
6. Be Specific in what direction you want to go in, and how you propose to get closer to your goal. What do you hope to achieve by reaching your goal? You need to be aware of what is driving you to achieve and maintain your focus, as this will help you with maintaining your motivation.
7. Committment - Failure is not an option.When you don't allow yourself an out, you have no choice but to move forward and proceed with your plans.
8. Progress reports to stay on track. On a road to reach a destination, you have signs to show you the way. Signs are like a feed back to you to say you're on the right road. Check regularly to see that what you are doing is taking you closer to your goal, not further away.
9. Goals are your jigsaw lid ! Have you ever tried to put a jigsaw together without the picture on the lid? It's really difficult and for some of us, just impossible ! The lid is like your goals and the jigsaw is your life. Don't try to create the jigsaw of your life without the goals to guide you. You will spend a lot of frustrating times, wondering why your life isn't working.
10. A goal is an idea of what you'd like in your life. It all begins as a dream and becomes a goal, once you realize you can obtain it.
I realize that depending on your level of depression, this post may not suit you, but I urge you to try some goal setting. Keep it simple and go for achieving one goal at a time. If you make too many goals at once, you can become over whelmed and achieve none .
I wish you good times this week. Use the days ahead wisely and with purpose.
Take care til next time.
Deb
07 June 2011
Setting Goals and Achieving them, Part 1.
Setting goals is a very important part of healing yourself from depression. By setting one goal at a time, you are learning to take yourself in a positive direction. Often, we don't really know what we want, so it's important to think about and write down all that we'd like to achieve first. Here are some tips:
1. Visualize your goal: Focus on what you intend to receive when you've achieved your goal. Take your thoughts into the right direction. Notice that your life will move towards what you think about, so be aware of your thoughts.
2. Don't focus on obstacles. Identify any potential conflicts surrounding this goal. You can't move forward successfully until these conflicts have been resolved.
3. Write your ideas of what you'd like to achieve down. This process is not planned but more brainstormed. The reason for this step is to build enthusiasm and bring energy and motivation into the idea that you have.
4. Once you've got a list of ideas and great enthusiasm, now you can put your actual , specific goals down in writing.
5. Set a deadline for your goal. For Example, as soon as you decide to visit the mountains, and you've booked your accomadation- guess what happens? From then on, everything and anything to do with the mountains will start to show itself to you. It is like this for a goal. The goal comes first, and then we see how to achieve it. Sometimes we only see ahead a little bit at a time, but we're going in the right direction towards achieving it.
I have 5 more points to add to this, so next week I'll add onto this goal setting post. It is really important in helping you towards positive change. In the meantime, think about where you are going and where you'd like to be. Put some of these ideas into action.
Until next week,
Take care
Deb
1. Visualize your goal: Focus on what you intend to receive when you've achieved your goal. Take your thoughts into the right direction. Notice that your life will move towards what you think about, so be aware of your thoughts.
2. Don't focus on obstacles. Identify any potential conflicts surrounding this goal. You can't move forward successfully until these conflicts have been resolved.
3. Write your ideas of what you'd like to achieve down. This process is not planned but more brainstormed. The reason for this step is to build enthusiasm and bring energy and motivation into the idea that you have.
4. Once you've got a list of ideas and great enthusiasm, now you can put your actual , specific goals down in writing.
5. Set a deadline for your goal. For Example, as soon as you decide to visit the mountains, and you've booked your accomadation- guess what happens? From then on, everything and anything to do with the mountains will start to show itself to you. It is like this for a goal. The goal comes first, and then we see how to achieve it. Sometimes we only see ahead a little bit at a time, but we're going in the right direction towards achieving it.
I have 5 more points to add to this, so next week I'll add onto this goal setting post. It is really important in helping you towards positive change. In the meantime, think about where you are going and where you'd like to be. Put some of these ideas into action.
Until next week,
Take care
Deb
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