Life is definitely what you make of it. If you know that you're going to be alone , or mostly alone during this holiday time, make plans to visit some people/friends/relatives. I know that when you're suffering with depression, very often this is the last thing you feel like doing. It's something that you MUST do. The visit doesn't have to last for a day- an hour or two at the most. The important thing during this slowing down time is that, you have a focus each day. As I've discussed in a previous post, make a list of a few things you'd like to do each day, a fun list to fit the season.
If you must do housework - plan to listen to some funky , motivating music while you work!
If you can think of absolutely no-one that you want to visit, then look around you , plan to spend an hour in the park(weather permitting!) on a picnic rug, reading a book, or pop over to the local library to find some great books or DVD's to rent. Go for a walk along the beach , or for a skate in your local area. Pay attention to your surroundings - take photos, create a holiday collage with your happy snaps....... the list is absolutely endless.
So you see, life is what you decide you want to make of it. I hope during this holiday season, you find someone else to share joy with, if not, share it with yourself !! You're worth it.
Take care
Debxxx
29 December 2010
22 December 2010
Festive Season??
Time has a way of running away with us around Christmas time, doesn't it? It's a time of great fun and joy but it is also a time of great sadness. If you're prone to feeling depressed especially around Christmas time, you need to acknowledge that you feel that way, and make moves to change what you do. Here's some tips to get you through the season:
1. Change what you usually do. For example, if you usually spend the day alone, change it this year by asking friends around or by finding out if you can pop over for a cuppa and cake in the afternoon. It's not imposing if it's just for a short time.
2. Spend some time making a list of what you'd like to do to help others in 2011. You could name the people you'd like to help, or just choose an organization you'd like to get involved with. This helps to take the focus off of your issues and really helps you to feel good about yourself.
3. Make a plan to spoil yourself at Christmas, instead of lamenting that you don't get anything. Think about all the indulgent things you'd like and try to get some or all of them for yourself!! Then, take time to enjoy them and give thanks.
If money is your issue, then you need to find ways of making the day fun without spending much money. You could go for a walk in a beautiful part of your town and admire all the lovely flowers, you could take some photos and print them at home and make a Christmas photo collage, you could knock on your neighbour's door and wish them. If you have made anything, you could give them a few cookies on a plate. You'd be surprised where all this will lead to make your day memorable! Unfortunately, some money must be spent, but you can get a great deal for only a small amount. The trick is not to focus on how little you have, but how much.
If it helps , write down all that you are grateful for and cherish yourself and your health.
I wish you all a fabulous Christmas. Look toward happiness, search for it, and it will be right there!
Take care
Deb
xxxx
1. Change what you usually do. For example, if you usually spend the day alone, change it this year by asking friends around or by finding out if you can pop over for a cuppa and cake in the afternoon. It's not imposing if it's just for a short time.
2. Spend some time making a list of what you'd like to do to help others in 2011. You could name the people you'd like to help, or just choose an organization you'd like to get involved with. This helps to take the focus off of your issues and really helps you to feel good about yourself.
3. Make a plan to spoil yourself at Christmas, instead of lamenting that you don't get anything. Think about all the indulgent things you'd like and try to get some or all of them for yourself!! Then, take time to enjoy them and give thanks.
If money is your issue, then you need to find ways of making the day fun without spending much money. You could go for a walk in a beautiful part of your town and admire all the lovely flowers, you could take some photos and print them at home and make a Christmas photo collage, you could knock on your neighbour's door and wish them. If you have made anything, you could give them a few cookies on a plate. You'd be surprised where all this will lead to make your day memorable! Unfortunately, some money must be spent, but you can get a great deal for only a small amount. The trick is not to focus on how little you have, but how much.
If it helps , write down all that you are grateful for and cherish yourself and your health.
I wish you all a fabulous Christmas. Look toward happiness, search for it, and it will be right there!
Take care
Deb
xxxx
08 December 2010
Skewed perceptions during depression.
Just chatting to a friend today about how when things happen that get you down or you do already suffer from depression, we tend to perceive things differently.
For instance, when your significant other forgets to say ' I love you' at an expected time ; you immediately feel hurt, rejected and start thinking that there's someone else .... and so the mind goes on...
This is skewed perception . It is totally in our mind , it is what we perceive to be true at that time.
When we are suffering from depression, it is amazing how the truths that we perceive can be so totally unrealistic and 'out there'. I realize that if you're currently in this situation, you won't be able to see it.
An example could be: You think a friend is ignoring you, you feel hurt and rejected. You start to wonder what you did wrong and become a little obsessed in thinking about it. Sound familiar??
Just for a minute, think about what the other person is going through and whether they are ignoring you because they don't like you or because they are seriously distracted and are having a crisis of their own? There's a good chance that if they're your friend, you need to stop thinking in terms of how the person is relating to you and start thinking how you can relate to them. Stop doubting your magnificence and start reaching out to help a friend in need.
Also, just a little note before I end today. All of us are going through various things in life. You are not the only one, so feel free to share about your life with others. How can a friend possibly support you during your time of need , if you won't let her know how you are feeling.
I hope this helps for this week. Take time to think of others and share some of yourself with your dear friends.
Take care
Deb
For instance, when your significant other forgets to say ' I love you' at an expected time ; you immediately feel hurt, rejected and start thinking that there's someone else .... and so the mind goes on...
This is skewed perception . It is totally in our mind , it is what we perceive to be true at that time.
When we are suffering from depression, it is amazing how the truths that we perceive can be so totally unrealistic and 'out there'. I realize that if you're currently in this situation, you won't be able to see it.
An example could be: You think a friend is ignoring you, you feel hurt and rejected. You start to wonder what you did wrong and become a little obsessed in thinking about it. Sound familiar??
Just for a minute, think about what the other person is going through and whether they are ignoring you because they don't like you or because they are seriously distracted and are having a crisis of their own? There's a good chance that if they're your friend, you need to stop thinking in terms of how the person is relating to you and start thinking how you can relate to them. Stop doubting your magnificence and start reaching out to help a friend in need.
Also, just a little note before I end today. All of us are going through various things in life. You are not the only one, so feel free to share about your life with others. How can a friend possibly support you during your time of need , if you won't let her know how you are feeling.
I hope this helps for this week. Take time to think of others and share some of yourself with your dear friends.
Take care
Deb
01 December 2010
Forgive yourself
We are our harshest critics. If we drop a glass, we get so cross with ourselves, yet if one of our kids drops it, we are able(most of us) to forgive them and move on. We can forgive others so much easier than ourselves. Why is that? A long time ago when you were just a child, you just accepted it if you made a mistake, but then, adults in your life may have pointed your mistakes out in a not so loving way. You began to think about how flawed you were and constantly aimed to please the adults, accepting criticism as part of life. During this criticism was when you learned not to forgive yourself.
Well, now it's time to change! In order to forgive ourselves, we need to learn to love ourselves just the way we are. This doesn't mean that we'll never change parts of ourselves , it just means that we accept who we are and love ourselves. This is one of the hardest concepts to learn. I found the only way to help myself was to state " I love and accept you just the way you are" , while looking at myself in the mirror. What this does is reinforces to you that you actually like yourself and this is the beginning of being gentle with yourself. When you have done something that you're cross with yourself for doing, you need to go to the mirror and state: I love you anyway and I forgive you. I know this may sound strange, but this is what is needed to inform your mind that you are moving on. Louise Hay is fantastic to read or listen to on many of these concepts, if you're open to affirmations.
So, this week, I want you to not criticize yourself in ANY WAY.
May your week be peaceful and fulfilling.
Take care
Deb
Well, now it's time to change! In order to forgive ourselves, we need to learn to love ourselves just the way we are. This doesn't mean that we'll never change parts of ourselves , it just means that we accept who we are and love ourselves. This is one of the hardest concepts to learn. I found the only way to help myself was to state " I love and accept you just the way you are" , while looking at myself in the mirror. What this does is reinforces to you that you actually like yourself and this is the beginning of being gentle with yourself. When you have done something that you're cross with yourself for doing, you need to go to the mirror and state: I love you anyway and I forgive you. I know this may sound strange, but this is what is needed to inform your mind that you are moving on. Louise Hay is fantastic to read or listen to on many of these concepts, if you're open to affirmations.
So, this week, I want you to not criticize yourself in ANY WAY.
May your week be peaceful and fulfilling.
Take care
Deb
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