Life is what you make it.

Life is definitely what you make of it. If you know that you're going to be alone , or mostly alone during this holiday time, make plans to visit some people/friends/relatives. I know that when you're suffering with depression, very often this is the last thing you feel like doing. It's something that you MUST do. The visit doesn't have to last for a day- an hour or two at the most. The important thing during this slowing down time is that, you have a focus each day. As I've discussed in a previous post, make a list of a few things you'd like to do each day, a fun list to fit the season.
If you must do housework - plan to listen to some funky , motivating music while you work!
If you can think of absolutely no-one that you want to visit, then look around you , plan to spend an hour in the park(weather permitting!) on a picnic rug, reading a book, or pop over to the local library to find some great books or DVD's to rent. Go for a walk along the beach , or for a skate in your local area. Pay attention to your surroundings - take photos, create a holiday collage with your happy snaps....... the list is absolutely endless.
So you see, life is what you decide you want to make of it. I hope during this holiday season, you find someone else to share joy with, if not, share it with yourself !! You're worth it.
                           Take care
                                     Debxxx

Festive Season??

Time has a way of running away with us around Christmas time, doesn't it? It's a time of great fun and joy but it is also a time of great sadness. If you're prone to feeling depressed especially around Christmas time, you need to acknowledge that you feel that way, and make moves to change what you do. Here's some tips to get you through the season:
1. Change what you usually do. For example, if you usually spend the day alone, change it this year by asking  friends around or by finding out if you can pop over for a cuppa and cake in the afternoon. It's not imposing if it's just for a short time.
2. Spend some time making a list of what you'd like to do to help others in 2011. You could name the people you'd like to help, or just choose an organization you'd like to get involved with. This helps to take the focus off of your issues and really helps you to feel good about yourself.
3. Make a plan to spoil yourself at Christmas, instead of lamenting that you don't get anything. Think about all the indulgent things you'd like and try to get some or all of them for yourself!! Then, take time to enjoy them and give thanks.
If money is your issue, then you need to find ways of making the day fun without spending much money. You could go for a walk in a beautiful part of your town and admire all the lovely flowers, you could take some photos and print them at home and make a Christmas photo collage, you could knock on your neighbour's door and wish them. If you have made anything, you could give them a few cookies on a plate. You'd be surprised where all this will lead to make your day memorable! Unfortunately, some money must be spent, but you can get a great deal for only a small amount. The trick is not to focus on how little you have, but how much.
If it helps , write down all that you are grateful for and cherish yourself and your health.
I wish you all a fabulous Christmas. Look toward happiness, search for it, and it will be right there!
Take care
         Deb
             xxxx

Skewed perceptions during depression.

Just  chatting to a friend today about how when things happen that get you down or you do already suffer from depression, we tend to perceive things differently.
For instance, when your significant other forgets to say ' I love you' at an expected time ; you immediately feel hurt, rejected and start thinking that there's someone else .... and so the mind goes on...
This is skewed perception . It is totally in our mind , it is what we perceive to be true at that time.
When we are suffering from depression, it is amazing how the truths that we perceive can be so totally unrealistic and 'out there'. I realize that if you're currently in this situation, you won't be able to see it.
An example could be: You think a friend is ignoring you, you feel hurt and rejected. You start to wonder what you did wrong and become a little obsessed in thinking about it. Sound familiar??
 Just for a minute, think about what the other person is going through and whether they are ignoring you because they don't like you or because they are seriously distracted and are having a crisis of their own? There's a good chance that if they're your friend, you need to stop thinking in terms of how the person is relating to you and start thinking how you can relate to them. Stop doubting your magnificence and start reaching out to help a friend in need.
Also, just a little note before I end today. All of us are going through various things in life. You are not the only one, so feel free to share about your life with others. How can a friend possibly support you during your time of need , if you won't let her know how you are feeling.
I hope this helps for this week. Take time to think of others and share some of yourself with your dear friends.
                Take care
                        Deb

Forgive yourself

We are our harshest critics. If we drop a glass, we get so cross with ourselves, yet if one of our kids drops it, we are able(most of us) to forgive them and move on. We can forgive others so much easier than ourselves. Why is that? A long time ago when you were just a child, you just accepted it if you made a mistake, but then, adults in your life may have pointed your mistakes out in a not so loving way. You began to think about how flawed you were and constantly aimed to please the adults, accepting criticism as part of life. During this criticism was when you learned not to forgive yourself.
Well, now it's time to change! In order to forgive ourselves, we need to learn to love ourselves just the way we are. This doesn't mean that we'll never change parts of ourselves , it just means that we accept who we are and love ourselves. This is one of the hardest concepts to learn. I found the only way to help myself was to state " I love and accept you just the way you are" , while looking at myself in the mirror. What this does is reinforces to you that you actually like yourself and this is the beginning of being gentle with yourself. When you have done something that you're cross with yourself for doing, you need to go to the mirror and state: I love you anyway and I forgive you. I know this may sound strange, but this is what is needed to inform your mind that you are moving on. Louise Hay is fantastic to read or listen to on many of these concepts, if you're open to affirmations.
So, this week, I want you to not criticize yourself in ANY WAY.
May your week be peaceful and fulfilling.
                                     Take care
                                           Deb

Over- Analyzing and depression.

Well, I hope you managed to get moving last week to keep depressive ways at bay! This week, we'll chat about thinking too much. You know, when you analyse everything, pick it apart, critisize yourself and simply won't let it rest? Well, it's time to stop that.
The reason we over - analyse , according to me, is that we are too concerned about what others think of us. We critisize what we've said, how it was said and why we said it. Instead, what we need to do is realize that if we've made a mistake, we need to just man up and say sorry, and learn to LET GO. I think this is probably one of the hardest things to do. You may be asking yourself, but what does this have to do with depression? Well, when you're going through depression, you don't always have the best perceptions about yourself and others. At this time, we can pick apart something that was said to us or that we think was said about us. This is so damaging.
Realize this, it's all in your head! I mean that in a nice way. You need to learn that if someone wants to say something derogatory about you, that's their problem, not yours. LET IT GO.
If you've said something bad to someone and wish you'd never said it, say sorry, and then LET IT GO.
How do you let it go?
It's all about forgiveness of yourself. I'll chat about that next time, but in the meantime, try to be kind to yourself, realize that we all analyse things incorrectly and we need to learn to just let things be. We are human after all.
I hope this week, you can live for the moment, move with the flow and LET IT GO .....
                               Take care, till next time.
                                              Deb

How to keep depression at bay when you're not feeling well......

There are times when you're not feeling well due to illness or pain. This can also serve to deepen your depression. The reason for this is that , when we're not feeling well or in pain, we are primarily so focused on ourselves and how we feel , that we become really self absorbed. When we are so self absorbed, that is when the depression deepens, as we only look at ourselves and into ourselves. So, in light of this, when you're of ill health and want to prevent your depression from taking hold, you will need to focus on a few things:
1. Stop and think about what you're grateful for. Be thankful that you can talk, walk,sing, hear, see, etc etc. Really focus on how wonderful it is to have these abilities. Immediately, you are expressing gratitude and thus taking yourself to a more positive place.
2. Turn your energies(what little you have!) to a hobby that you enjoy doing - gardening, crafting, painting, sewing, cooking, reading....... You may think you feel too sick to do it, but, try to do something towards it - even if it is planning what you'll do when you're better.
3. Focus on someone else. You may have a mother who loves a visit, or a gran. You may have a little person in your life who loves you and wants to spend time with you - focus on them for a bit and let yourself just love. By seeing the other person , really, you are taking away the intraspective part of yourself for a while and thus aiding in your wellness.
We all go through times when we feel ill or in pain. It's very consuming. You, however, have the power to decide what you will do with how you're feeling. Will you just succumb to feeling low and unwell, or will you decide to rest your body but entertain your mind to fight off the depression?
I know what I'd choose. How about you?
Take care over the week and choose wisely.
                                                    Deb

Get Moving !- combat Depression by exercising

I know, the last thing you feel like doing is exercising! Do you know, that it is one of the few things that will definitely improve your state of mind naturally? It is a proven fact that when we exercise, our brain releases endorphins which give us an increased state of happiness. The main problem that we experience, is when we feel depressed, we lack the ambition to do anything- least of all exercise!
Here's a few tips that may help you to put your best feet forward and get moving:

1. Set yourself an achievable activity goal, like, to go for a walk twice in the week. If you own a diary and use it, make sure you diarize when you're going to go for a walk, and stick to it.
2. Do incidental walking. For example, park your car far away in the car park, so you have to walk a distance when you visit the shops. Another example, when faced with the lift or the stairs, take the stairs. At first, you'll feel tired or puffed, but the more often you do it, the better you'll get at it.
3. Invest in a pedometer. This is great if you want to clock up the steps walked and try to improve on it daily. The average person has the ability to take around 4000-5000 steps per day, so see how close you come and try to keep it up. Pretty soon, you'll be looking for excuses to get moving so you can make sure you've done all your steps!! It's a great motivator.

I hope your week is filled with exercise, and remember, start small and be disciplined about sticking to your routine. You'll be really glad once you notice a change in your mental attitude- it happens quite by accident!!
           Have a great week.
                                Deb

Prioritizing for optimim mental health.

Life gets really busy with work, keeping a home, looking after children and pets. Not to mention, maintaining good relations with people at work, family and friends. Life can be quite a juggle of emotions if we let it. Very often, those of us who are trying to keep our heads above the depression line, find dealing with people in our lives very draining and could potentially sink below the line. It is at times like this that prioritizing is really important.
1. First what you need to realize, is that NO-ONE is more important that YOU.... .. NO-ONE. There is only one of you and if you don't take care of that one beautiful person, others around you will ultimately suffer.
2. Once you've got that in your head, it could help you to prioritize. It is not selfish to schedule alone time, or doing something that you love. That is all part of taking care of yourself and keeping yourself in a great state of mind. If you are happy, then the people around you are happy, if you are angry or resentful, then the people around you pick up on that and may be that way to.

3. Schedule at least one activity each week just for you. If you can do more, that is ultimately better, but, if you're a little time poor, one will do. You don't have to include anyone else in the activity, as long as you do it. It's very important to realize in your head, that you deserve this, do not feel guilty or allow anyone else to make you feel that way. If someone else is making you feel guilty, that is their problem, not yours!!! I think that's a whole nother blog post !

So, this week, take some time to look at your week and fit in something/s that you would like to do that would make you feel relaxed and happy. Schedule them in your diary/calendar of events so that you don't double book yourself. You're much more likely to remove your indulgence for work than not!! Think of the indulgence as being essential for your mental health and follow through without guilt.
Take care this week and enjoy.
                      Deb

Depression and parenthood- how to cope...

When you're in the throws of depression, the last thing you feel like doing is responding to one of your children. It doesn't sound nice to say it, but it's true. Often this is one of the hardest hurdles because we don't want to admit to anyone, that we really don't want to see the child for a while and need time alone! It could be misinterpreted as not caring. That is not it at all. We care for our children, but when you're not coping, you don't think rationally at all. Here's some tips to help you when you next feel this way:
1. Explain to your child that you're feeling a little sad right now, and need to spend some time alone in your room.  Set a timer, if your child is a little young, for maybe 5 minutes, because that will feel long to them. Each time you do it, set it for a little longer so they get used to giving you some alone time.
2. If your child is young and still having sleeps, DO NOT use every sleep time to tidy or do washing etc. Set aside some time for yourself. Do something you really enjoy so you can recharge. You are VERY important- if you're not well, the whole family suffers.
3. If your children are older, an explanation about depression can also work to educate and allow them to understand you. Do not go into too much detail, but explain about how chemicals in your brain are unbalanced and you need to do certain things to try to restore the balance. They will become more understanding if you let them in.

This is just a snippet of information on putting some strategies in place within your family.
I hope it helps you this week.
                                Take care
                                          Deb  9N8VGVZQ3U5D

The Evils of multi tasking !!

Multi tasking is something that everyone prides themselves in doing. Many people think that you are just not efficient unless you can multi task. Whilst I think there is an element of truth to this, there is also the danger of OVER multi tasking!! So, for instance, if you answer the phone and feed the cat whilst talking to your friend, that is not too bad; however; if you chat to your friend whilst typing an email and organizing your diary- well, you've gone too far! For a person suffering with depression, multi tasking is a real evil to be avoided!
Think about this, when you're depressed, your mind is often feeling very full, you feel over whelmed easily. Now, how can you possibly function if you're now trying to perform several duties at once?
Here's some useful advice I received from a friend: when you are needing to do something, like cooking, focus only on doing that. Don't cook and type on the computer. Just focus on cooking. When you are talking to a friend, focus on the friend. Don't answer the phone (unless you are expecting a call ), try to not be distracted by anyone else and see how much more of a connection is made.
I do get though, those of you with younger children are saying, how on earth can I focus on one thing at a time when I have to fix Buzz lightyear, sweep the floor and answer the phone? Well, children in general are not noted for being patient, but an important lesson for them to learn if they are able, is how to wait. When the phone rings, try to stop what you are doing and give it your attention. When your child wants you, when you are able, try to focus on what your child needs/wants. When you are doing something for yourself, like sewing or crafting, focus on only that.
This , if you're able to do it, will help you to relax and realize that you don't need to multi task, simply work through your day going from one task to another, still achieving but doing so in a sane way.
                        Give it a go, you will probably find a calmer, more focused you in the end!
                                                        Take care till next time.
                                                                       Deb

Depression and Art- a great link!

It is a fact that a large portion of people who suffer with depression are creatively or artistically inclined. This is due to the fact that the people who love to create are usually emotional, passionate creatures. Even if you don't fall into this category, you can benefit from it.
Art can come in many forms. Cooking, sewing, card making, scrap booking, canvas work, sculpture, drama, interior design and the list goes on.....  you might really love to cook - notice how you feel when you're cooking (replace it with what is relevant for you). You will feel relaxed, happy and content. Those are the feelings you want more of especially if you've felt pulled down of late.
This week, make some time to focus on a creative activity that makes you feel happy. What is it you love? If you have forgotten what you're passionate about, a good way to remember is to think about this:  you overhear a conversation and you have a burning desire to participate in that conversation, what are they discussing?
The other thing you need to now do is put some time aside to create. It needs to involve focusing only on what you are doing- not multi tasking!! More on the evils of multi tasking next time.
                            I hope your week is happy and healthy.
                                                              Take care
                                                                       Deb

Depression and Music- a great Antidote.

Music and Art really are food for the soul.
Let's look at Music for today. Too much silence, can be damaging for someone who is struggling with depression. When life is too silent, there is too much time to think or feel nothing. The silence can almost be a prisoner to you. They say, 'silence is deafening', and they would be right!!
This week, take the time to listen to some good music that really makes you feel alive. Try to avoid the kind of music that evokes too much emotion - like sadness, that will obviously be counter productive.
Create a playlist on your ipod or mp3 player that is specifically filled with upbeat music that makes you feel good.
A great suggestion is to pop your ipod earphones in your ears , pull on your walking shoes and head on out. If you're not too mobile, still, get outside and do some movements to the music- it makes you feel exhilarated and alive. Go ahead and try it, you'll be so glad you did!
                                       Till next time
                                                 Deb

Recognizing the signs of Depression

Recognizing the signs of slipping into depression is the key for regaining your control. Notice these things:
You feel over whelmed
You feel like you have no control over what is happening.
A darkness is surrounding you
You wander around aimlessly, you have no focus.
There is an empty feeling in you.
You lack purpose in life.
These are just some of the feelings you may be feeling or have felt. Once you recognize that you are feeling this way, you can take steps to remedy the situation.
1. Begin by setting yourself a few tasks to do each day. This gives you a focus and a sense of accomplishment.
2. Make time to go for a walk, your perceptions change when you excercise.
3. Plan your week. Set out a few things to achieve each day. This will assist you in your sense of purpose.

                        I hope this helps you this week.
                                                            Deb

Glide - Beat depression naturally.....

Hi Everyone,
My name is Debbie Webb and I've written a book about Depression called 'Glide'. The book deals with natural ways to help yourself to improve your state of mind. I suffered from depression for a period of 12 years and was determined not to take any medication. This is my story of how I worked through this and came out victorious on the other side!
 It is filled with ideas on what you can do to assist yourself to get better and take back the control of your life.
My goal with this blog, is to help anyone who might suffer from depression to find natural ways to help themselves. I will be posting information that I"ve gathered on depression as well as some inspirational , motivational words to assist you in life.
So, join me on my blog journey to free your mind and nuture your spirit.
                                     
                                                                                   Deb