Truly listening helps depression.

Take time out to listen to others. I mean really listen.
When people are talking do you think of an opinion? Do you think of what you want to say next? Maybe you can't even wait for them to finish before you have to add something? This is so common now a days. People are so wrapped up in their lives that they have lost the ability to truly listen.
When you're depressed, one of the things is that you become very wrapped up in yourself and your emotions. It is at this time that you often fnd yourself not really listening to others unless you can relate to what they are saying. A way to help yourself with this is to become aware first of all that you are doing this.
Next, try to listen to someone, preferably a friend, talking. When they are talking, focus totally on what they are saying. When you do this, don't think of your own opinion. It is actually quite difficult. What this does is help you to focus your attention away from yourself. It's not only great for your friend because you are paying such great attention, but it is excellent for you!
To help yourself in not forming opinions, ask pertinent questions and actively participate in the conversation. Try to remain positive and non- judgemental.
During this next week, make it your mission to focus on what others are saying, without feeling the need to explain anything of yourself. Don't worry if no one asks you about yourself either. It actually helps you to remain focused on your task! Let go of expecting others to ask you about your well being!
I hope the week ahead is filled with great conversations and fabulous listening on your part!
Take care
Deb
xx

Setting Goals and achieving them Part 2..

Well, I hope you have had a great week compiling your list of goals and deciding what to focus on. When you are in a depressed state, one of the ways to help yourself to overcome overwhelming emotions is to focus on a goal. Even if that goal is simple , like, making sure you leave your house at least once a day. Goals don't have to be grand , they can just be something that you personally would like to achieve.  I have more points for you , as I said in my previous post to assist you in creating a focus. Points 1 to 5 are in my previous post.

6. Be Specific in what direction you want to go in, and how you propose to get closer to your goal. What do you hope to achieve by reaching your goal? You need to be aware of what is driving you to achieve and maintain your focus, as this will help you with maintaining your  motivation.

7. Committment - Failure is not an option.When you don't allow yourself an out, you have no choice but to move forward and proceed with your plans.

8. Progress reports to stay on track. On a road to reach a destination, you have signs to show you the way. Signs are like a feed back to you to say you're on the right road. Check regularly to see that what you are doing is taking you closer to your goal, not further away.

9. Goals are your jigsaw lid ! Have you ever tried to put a jigsaw together without the picture on the lid? It's really difficult and for some of us, just impossible ! The lid is like your goals and the jigsaw is your life. Don't try to create the jigsaw of your life without the goals to guide you. You will spend a lot of frustrating times, wondering why your life isn't working.

10. A goal is an idea of what you'd like in your life. It all begins as a dream and becomes a goal, once you realize you can obtain it.

I realize that depending on your level of depression, this post may not suit you, but I urge you to try some goal setting. Keep it simple and go for achieving one goal at a time. If you make too many goals at once, you can become over whelmed and achieve none .
I wish you good times this week. Use the days ahead wisely and with purpose.
Take care til next time.
Deb

Hope in the midst of Depression

In this world that we live in, there are so many tragic events. If we dwell on these tragic events in life, we begin to question life and its purpose- we begin to lose hope.
As a person suffering with depression, it is particularly important to view each day as a new beginning. As you wake up in the morning, picture all the emotional stuff that you had from the day before , being wiped off the slate and now you begin again- from a clean slate.
That is the beauty of life, there is a new beginning when the sun rises each day. Each day we have another chance at making our world a  beautiful place to be. Each day we get another chance to change something that we don't like or want in our lives. Each day is fresh, is new and filled with hope.

When you're in the midst of depression, hope begins to fade. When you wake up each day, you feel a sense of dread and heaviness. It is important to recognise this feeling and know that only you can change it to create a better place for yourself. Here are some tips to help brighten your morning with hope:

1. As you wake, give thanks (doesn't have to be to God) for something that you enjoy in your life eg that you can walk, see, hear, have a great child, have a home.....etc
2. When you've got your morning drink, have a look outside and notice the leaves, branches, birds around. If there's ice on the ground, notice the sparkles, if there's dew, notice the glimmer.
3. Take time during the day, to stop. When you stop, notice nature around you and enjoy it.
4. When you can, take a walk to the park, down the street, or just sit in your back garden. Learn to look outside of yourself, it is by doing this that you'll learn to stop analyzing everything that you do!

Let's build hope together in this crazy world, for without it, there is nothing.
Have a great week.
Take care
Deb

Letting go....

It has come to my attention that there are many people out there, who just can't let things go!! It may be something big or small, it doesn't matter, the point is that if you don't release it, it will rule you and affect your mental state contributing to an increasing depression.
We are not always aware of the fact that we are harbouring thoughts about someone who has wronged us - in our eyes. We think we have moved on but find ourselves discussing the issue with many friends repeatedly. Have a think....... has this happened to you recently? Do you find yourself speaking ill of someone in particular , frequently?
Letting go is not as easy as it sounds. It is something that only you can do and is totally controlled by you and the way you react to situations. Here are some tips for letting go:
1. Acknowledge that you are repeatedly refering to a situation and carrying around bad feelings about it.
2. Purchase a 'letting go' book, which is  a blank book for you to write in. It is here that you are going to write about all the bad feelings you feel and everything that you want to do. It will probably not be reading for anyone other than yourself!!
3. Every day, several times a day, whenever you have thoughts of anger or irritation about this person or situation, you need to write it down in the book. Instead of repeating yourself to those around you, you are now going to remain silent on the issue and only write about it.
4. This is a process , which means it will take some time, but eventually you'll find you write in there less and less because the issue diminishes in importance. You are beginning to let go..

Letting go is of incredible importance to our mental state. If we hold onto past hurts, angers, irritations and grievances, we keep all the resentments inside us. It is all this that can fester and assist in causing dis-eases like cancer.  Be aware of how you feel towards those who are close to you and repair any grievances.
By letting go, you will bring more peace into your life and chase away the cobwebs of depression.

May the week ahead be one where you release the hurts and begin to see life as a wonderful place again.
Take care till next time..
Deb

Depression and hospital stays

Recently I received an email regarding Healthcare Associated Infections (HAIs). I was astounded to realize how many people become infected after their treatments! When someone develops an infection at a  hospital or patient care facility that they did not have prior to treatment, this is referred to as a Healthcare Associated Infection.
This is a Global crisis affecting both patients and healthcare workers alike. HAIs often lead to lengthened hospital stays or even readmission. This obviously not only takes its toll on your physical health but on your emotional wellbeing.
So , how do you cope with longer than expected stays in hospital? Well, as with everything, it's in the attitude. Now, your attitude is great when you're healthy, but what about when you're sick and in pain? This is a vey difficult time to try to keep depression at bay. You can do it though with a few strategies and some help from kind friends and family. Here are a few suggestions :
1. Get an ipod or similar device with music on that lifts your spirit.
2. On your ipod, also put some motivational talk and meditation music. These are great for lifting you and calming you too.
3. Get some loved items from home to have around you . Nothing heals the soul and body quicker than the feeling of home and peace. So, the next best thing is to bring some of the home to you!! (eg of things could be a favourite blanket, pillow, photoframe etc)

Now I know that some of this might prove to be impossible to you, which is why you get family and friends involved. People want to help, so let them. Now, it's very important for your physical pain and emotional state to practise a little meditation during this time. It is this which will help to restore the balance back into your life and get you well again.( of course coupled with medication if required.)

So, don't wait for hospital stays to start doing this, but if you are looking at entering hospital or a care facility, then consider going in armed with these things to facilitate your wellness.
Forwarned is forearmed so hop onto the HAI website to find out more.
http://www.haiwatch.com/
Let's help ourselves in all situations this week and bring about abundant wellness!!
Take care till next time.
Deb

Friendships and depression

What do you do when others around you bring you down further?
How do you deal with the 'friend' who complains a lot and criticizes a fair bit ? When the 'friend ' leaves, you actually feel more down.
This is such a common problem. We allow the people around us to dictate the mood of the social gathering instead of us trying to manipulate it into a great social time. The reason we do that is, primarily , if you're suffering with depression, you don't always have the strength and self esteem to be able to go up against an opinionated person. You are absolutely not alone. The trick with this problem is:
First, acknowledge that this person is ruining the gathering,
Second, decide what you have the strength to do- get up and leave , begin a lively discussion with some around you, or change the subject if the party of people is a small group.
There are always choices in every situation.
Before going out, which for a depressed person can be quite a big deal anyway, decide that you want to have a good time and enjoy yourself. By doing this, you are more likely to take action when someone begins to bring the mood down.
The other thing to mention is : don't take negative comments or criticisms back home with you. As you're leaving the party/restaurant/home, imagine you're walking through the bad comments and leaving them in the venue, they are not attached to you and not welcome in your home. I know this seems like a strange suggestion, but many things are fueled by our powerful imaginations, why not let them work for good!!

If you have  a 'friend ' who often pops over and causes you to feel bad about yourself , this person is not really your friend. I have mentioned before, but this can never get too much air time, you need to distance yourself from this person. If they pop over unannounced daily, you need to open the door slightly and just mention that now isn't really a good time , hope she understands and thanks anyway for stopping by. Don't stand there and discuss why, you don't need to give any reason why, just because.
It is in people's nature to want to know if you're alright, you just need to say something like- I'm fine, now is just not a good time for me. Give this a try, I guarantee you'll feel quite empowered when you see it working!!
Well, I hope you are able to surround yourself with positive people this week!
Take care until next time.
Deb

Coping with depression during tragic events

 When you're suffering from depression or are prone to a depressive attack, keeping the tragic events of our world at bay, is very important. The difficulty is, our natural instinct is to want to see what is happening and keep up to date.  The reality is, most of us can't do anything about it, so it's important not to take on all the negativity. If you are deeply affected by a tragic event , maybe you can rather think how you can offer help to those in need and spend time organizing that, as opposed to watching the hours of news footage.
There are many tragedies occuring daily around the world. You can't take on these problems because it takes you down. When you are down, it's not just you who is affected, but your whole family. You need to put some strategies in place to keep you going when something touches you deeply.
This does not mean you don't care, rather it means you care enough about yourself and those around you, that you don't get too deeply affected by these events.

Some recommended strategies are:
1. Limit your news footage viewing on the television to twice a week. (or less!)
2. Limit your newspaper reading to twice a week. (or less!)
3. Try to remove yourself from conversations, if possible, when others around you are discussing the tragic event.
4. If helping is what you're good at, think of ways you can help where a tragic event has occurred.
5. You now have hours available to you as you're not watching the news as much or reading the paper, so take up a new hobby or get to something you've been too busy to do!!

I hope your week is calm and focused.
Take care
           Deb

Finding the positives in your depression

When you are trying to win your battle against depression, you need to be aware of the people you've surrounded yourself with. Look around. Are your friends and family positive or negative people? Do they make you feel happy and energized when you're with them or do they make you feel angry, depressed and lacking in motivation?
It's time to be honest with yourself.
I remember a time when I had a couple of friends who were constantly negative. When I finally became aware of this, I decided to distance myself from them and focus on friends who were positive and good for me. It isn't always easy to dstance yourself from certain people as some will constantly phone or pop over. You need to use strategies like this:
On the phone, you need to cut off their conversation and tell them that you're really busy right now and could they possibly email you as then you can get to it later. Repitition is really important here. They will eventually stop calling and you can then send short replies to the emails.
In person, it's important that you tell the person that you've been taking time out for yourself lately and so won't always be available to sit down and chat. Tell them, it's not them, it's just that you're changing your life and need to do things for yourself. I'm sure they will respect that even if they need repitition!!
These are important things to do in your effort to improve your state of mind. It's all about taking the control of your life and who you surround yourself with. If you've married a negative person, you will need to put other strategies in place that allow you to develop your self esteem so you can feel good about yourself and not let them affect you.
Well , I'll leave you to it. Surround yourself with love this week.
Take care
          Deb

Life is what you make it.

Life is definitely what you make of it. If you know that you're going to be alone , or mostly alone during this holiday time, make plans to visit some people/friends/relatives. I know that when you're suffering with depression, very often this is the last thing you feel like doing. It's something that you MUST do. The visit doesn't have to last for a day- an hour or two at the most. The important thing during this slowing down time is that, you have a focus each day. As I've discussed in a previous post, make a list of a few things you'd like to do each day, a fun list to fit the season.
If you must do housework - plan to listen to some funky , motivating music while you work!
If you can think of absolutely no-one that you want to visit, then look around you , plan to spend an hour in the park(weather permitting!) on a picnic rug, reading a book, or pop over to the local library to find some great books or DVD's to rent. Go for a walk along the beach , or for a skate in your local area. Pay attention to your surroundings - take photos, create a holiday collage with your happy snaps....... the list is absolutely endless.
So you see, life is what you decide you want to make of it. I hope during this holiday season, you find someone else to share joy with, if not, share it with yourself !! You're worth it.
                           Take care
                                     Debxxx

Festive Season??

Time has a way of running away with us around Christmas time, doesn't it? It's a time of great fun and joy but it is also a time of great sadness. If you're prone to feeling depressed especially around Christmas time, you need to acknowledge that you feel that way, and make moves to change what you do. Here's some tips to get you through the season:
1. Change what you usually do. For example, if you usually spend the day alone, change it this year by asking  friends around or by finding out if you can pop over for a cuppa and cake in the afternoon. It's not imposing if it's just for a short time.
2. Spend some time making a list of what you'd like to do to help others in 2011. You could name the people you'd like to help, or just choose an organization you'd like to get involved with. This helps to take the focus off of your issues and really helps you to feel good about yourself.
3. Make a plan to spoil yourself at Christmas, instead of lamenting that you don't get anything. Think about all the indulgent things you'd like and try to get some or all of them for yourself!! Then, take time to enjoy them and give thanks.
If money is your issue, then you need to find ways of making the day fun without spending much money. You could go for a walk in a beautiful part of your town and admire all the lovely flowers, you could take some photos and print them at home and make a Christmas photo collage, you could knock on your neighbour's door and wish them. If you have made anything, you could give them a few cookies on a plate. You'd be surprised where all this will lead to make your day memorable! Unfortunately, some money must be spent, but you can get a great deal for only a small amount. The trick is not to focus on how little you have, but how much.
If it helps , write down all that you are grateful for and cherish yourself and your health.
I wish you all a fabulous Christmas. Look toward happiness, search for it, and it will be right there!
Take care
         Deb
             xxxx

Skewed perceptions during depression.

Just  chatting to a friend today about how when things happen that get you down or you do already suffer from depression, we tend to perceive things differently.
For instance, when your significant other forgets to say ' I love you' at an expected time ; you immediately feel hurt, rejected and start thinking that there's someone else .... and so the mind goes on...
This is skewed perception . It is totally in our mind , it is what we perceive to be true at that time.
When we are suffering from depression, it is amazing how the truths that we perceive can be so totally unrealistic and 'out there'. I realize that if you're currently in this situation, you won't be able to see it.
An example could be: You think a friend is ignoring you, you feel hurt and rejected. You start to wonder what you did wrong and become a little obsessed in thinking about it. Sound familiar??
 Just for a minute, think about what the other person is going through and whether they are ignoring you because they don't like you or because they are seriously distracted and are having a crisis of their own? There's a good chance that if they're your friend, you need to stop thinking in terms of how the person is relating to you and start thinking how you can relate to them. Stop doubting your magnificence and start reaching out to help a friend in need.
Also, just a little note before I end today. All of us are going through various things in life. You are not the only one, so feel free to share about your life with others. How can a friend possibly support you during your time of need , if you won't let her know how you are feeling.
I hope this helps for this week. Take time to think of others and share some of yourself with your dear friends.
                Take care
                        Deb

Forgive yourself

We are our harshest critics. If we drop a glass, we get so cross with ourselves, yet if one of our kids drops it, we are able(most of us) to forgive them and move on. We can forgive others so much easier than ourselves. Why is that? A long time ago when you were just a child, you just accepted it if you made a mistake, but then, adults in your life may have pointed your mistakes out in a not so loving way. You began to think about how flawed you were and constantly aimed to please the adults, accepting criticism as part of life. During this criticism was when you learned not to forgive yourself.
Well, now it's time to change! In order to forgive ourselves, we need to learn to love ourselves just the way we are. This doesn't mean that we'll never change parts of ourselves , it just means that we accept who we are and love ourselves. This is one of the hardest concepts to learn. I found the only way to help myself was to state " I love and accept you just the way you are" , while looking at myself in the mirror. What this does is reinforces to you that you actually like yourself and this is the beginning of being gentle with yourself. When you have done something that you're cross with yourself for doing, you need to go to the mirror and state: I love you anyway and I forgive you. I know this may sound strange, but this is what is needed to inform your mind that you are moving on. Louise Hay is fantastic to read or listen to on many of these concepts, if you're open to affirmations.
So, this week, I want you to not criticize yourself in ANY WAY.
May your week be peaceful and fulfilling.
                                     Take care
                                           Deb

How to keep depression at bay when you're not feeling well......

There are times when you're not feeling well due to illness or pain. This can also serve to deepen your depression. The reason for this is that , when we're not feeling well or in pain, we are primarily so focused on ourselves and how we feel , that we become really self absorbed. When we are so self absorbed, that is when the depression deepens, as we only look at ourselves and into ourselves. So, in light of this, when you're of ill health and want to prevent your depression from taking hold, you will need to focus on a few things:
1. Stop and think about what you're grateful for. Be thankful that you can talk, walk,sing, hear, see, etc etc. Really focus on how wonderful it is to have these abilities. Immediately, you are expressing gratitude and thus taking yourself to a more positive place.
2. Turn your energies(what little you have!) to a hobby that you enjoy doing - gardening, crafting, painting, sewing, cooking, reading....... You may think you feel too sick to do it, but, try to do something towards it - even if it is planning what you'll do when you're better.
3. Focus on someone else. You may have a mother who loves a visit, or a gran. You may have a little person in your life who loves you and wants to spend time with you - focus on them for a bit and let yourself just love. By seeing the other person , really, you are taking away the intraspective part of yourself for a while and thus aiding in your wellness.
We all go through times when we feel ill or in pain. It's very consuming. You, however, have the power to decide what you will do with how you're feeling. Will you just succumb to feeling low and unwell, or will you decide to rest your body but entertain your mind to fight off the depression?
I know what I'd choose. How about you?
Take care over the week and choose wisely.
                                                    Deb

Get Moving !- combat Depression by exercising

I know, the last thing you feel like doing is exercising! Do you know, that it is one of the few things that will definitely improve your state of mind naturally? It is a proven fact that when we exercise, our brain releases endorphins which give us an increased state of happiness. The main problem that we experience, is when we feel depressed, we lack the ambition to do anything- least of all exercise!
Here's a few tips that may help you to put your best feet forward and get moving:

1. Set yourself an achievable activity goal, like, to go for a walk twice in the week. If you own a diary and use it, make sure you diarize when you're going to go for a walk, and stick to it.
2. Do incidental walking. For example, park your car far away in the car park, so you have to walk a distance when you visit the shops. Another example, when faced with the lift or the stairs, take the stairs. At first, you'll feel tired or puffed, but the more often you do it, the better you'll get at it.
3. Invest in a pedometer. This is great if you want to clock up the steps walked and try to improve on it daily. The average person has the ability to take around 4000-5000 steps per day, so see how close you come and try to keep it up. Pretty soon, you'll be looking for excuses to get moving so you can make sure you've done all your steps!! It's a great motivator.

I hope your week is filled with exercise, and remember, start small and be disciplined about sticking to your routine. You'll be really glad once you notice a change in your mental attitude- it happens quite by accident!!
           Have a great week.
                                Deb

Depression and parenthood- how to cope...

When you're in the throws of depression, the last thing you feel like doing is responding to one of your children. It doesn't sound nice to say it, but it's true. Often this is one of the hardest hurdles because we don't want to admit to anyone, that we really don't want to see the child for a while and need time alone! It could be misinterpreted as not caring. That is not it at all. We care for our children, but when you're not coping, you don't think rationally at all. Here's some tips to help you when you next feel this way:
1. Explain to your child that you're feeling a little sad right now, and need to spend some time alone in your room.  Set a timer, if your child is a little young, for maybe 5 minutes, because that will feel long to them. Each time you do it, set it for a little longer so they get used to giving you some alone time.
2. If your child is young and still having sleeps, DO NOT use every sleep time to tidy or do washing etc. Set aside some time for yourself. Do something you really enjoy so you can recharge. You are VERY important- if you're not well, the whole family suffers.
3. If your children are older, an explanation about depression can also work to educate and allow them to understand you. Do not go into too much detail, but explain about how chemicals in your brain are unbalanced and you need to do certain things to try to restore the balance. They will become more understanding if you let them in.

This is just a snippet of information on putting some strategies in place within your family.
I hope it helps you this week.
                                Take care
                                          Deb  9N8VGVZQ3U5D

The Evils of multi tasking !!

Multi tasking is something that everyone prides themselves in doing. Many people think that you are just not efficient unless you can multi task. Whilst I think there is an element of truth to this, there is also the danger of OVER multi tasking!! So, for instance, if you answer the phone and feed the cat whilst talking to your friend, that is not too bad; however; if you chat to your friend whilst typing an email and organizing your diary- well, you've gone too far! For a person suffering with depression, multi tasking is a real evil to be avoided!
Think about this, when you're depressed, your mind is often feeling very full, you feel over whelmed easily. Now, how can you possibly function if you're now trying to perform several duties at once?
Here's some useful advice I received from a friend: when you are needing to do something, like cooking, focus only on doing that. Don't cook and type on the computer. Just focus on cooking. When you are talking to a friend, focus on the friend. Don't answer the phone (unless you are expecting a call ), try to not be distracted by anyone else and see how much more of a connection is made.
I do get though, those of you with younger children are saying, how on earth can I focus on one thing at a time when I have to fix Buzz lightyear, sweep the floor and answer the phone? Well, children in general are not noted for being patient, but an important lesson for them to learn if they are able, is how to wait. When the phone rings, try to stop what you are doing and give it your attention. When your child wants you, when you are able, try to focus on what your child needs/wants. When you are doing something for yourself, like sewing or crafting, focus on only that.
This , if you're able to do it, will help you to relax and realize that you don't need to multi task, simply work through your day going from one task to another, still achieving but doing so in a sane way.
                        Give it a go, you will probably find a calmer, more focused you in the end!
                                                        Take care till next time.
                                                                       Deb

Depression and Art- a great link!

It is a fact that a large portion of people who suffer with depression are creatively or artistically inclined. This is due to the fact that the people who love to create are usually emotional, passionate creatures. Even if you don't fall into this category, you can benefit from it.
Art can come in many forms. Cooking, sewing, card making, scrap booking, canvas work, sculpture, drama, interior design and the list goes on.....  you might really love to cook - notice how you feel when you're cooking (replace it with what is relevant for you). You will feel relaxed, happy and content. Those are the feelings you want more of especially if you've felt pulled down of late.
This week, make some time to focus on a creative activity that makes you feel happy. What is it you love? If you have forgotten what you're passionate about, a good way to remember is to think about this:  you overhear a conversation and you have a burning desire to participate in that conversation, what are they discussing?
The other thing you need to now do is put some time aside to create. It needs to involve focusing only on what you are doing- not multi tasking!! More on the evils of multi tasking next time.
                            I hope your week is happy and healthy.
                                                              Take care
                                                                       Deb

Recognizing the signs of Depression

Recognizing the signs of slipping into depression is the key for regaining your control. Notice these things:
You feel over whelmed
You feel like you have no control over what is happening.
A darkness is surrounding you
You wander around aimlessly, you have no focus.
There is an empty feeling in you.
You lack purpose in life.
These are just some of the feelings you may be feeling or have felt. Once you recognize that you are feeling this way, you can take steps to remedy the situation.
1. Begin by setting yourself a few tasks to do each day. This gives you a focus and a sense of accomplishment.
2. Make time to go for a walk, your perceptions change when you excercise.
3. Plan your week. Set out a few things to achieve each day. This will assist you in your sense of purpose.

                        I hope this helps you this week.
                                                            Deb

Glide - Beat depression naturally.....

Hi Everyone,
My name is Debbie Webb and I've written a book about Depression called 'Glide'. The book deals with natural ways to help yourself to improve your state of mind. I suffered from depression for a period of 12 years and was determined not to take any medication. This is my story of how I worked through this and came out victorious on the other side!
 It is filled with ideas on what you can do to assist yourself to get better and take back the control of your life.
My goal with this blog, is to help anyone who might suffer from depression to find natural ways to help themselves. I will be posting information that I"ve gathered on depression as well as some inspirational , motivational words to assist you in life.
So, join me on my blog journey to free your mind and nuture your spirit.
                                     
                                                                                   Deb